5 Intentionally Cringey Things I Did This Week

11/18 - 11/24 | Defending Molly Baz, screaming into the void, filming a selfie while strangers watched.

In an effort to live up to the ethos around This Might be Cringe, as a publication, as well as some of the thoughts I shared in my last post (Embarrassment is Fake), I’m starting to intentionally put myself out there and do things I find uncomfortable. Things that make me pause before doing them, that I’d maybe ordinarily stop myself from doing in the moment, because I was worried about how they’d be ‘perceived’.

This week, I’m testing out a new feature — Intentionally Cringey Things I Did — to explore all the times I did cringey things, well, intentionally. I don’t know how often I’ll find myself doing intentionally cringey things, but wanted to see how this felt to write. I’m also wondering if having the pressure of this feature will help me put myself out there more, which will make me have more content to write this feature, which will make me put myself out there more, etc.

Let’s get into it!

1. I published my Embarrassment is Fake post and admitted to the world I am embarrassing! If I am being honest, I sat on that one for way longer than I expected to. I wrote most of it about I month ago, and just couldn’t bring myself to actually hit ‘publish’. I felt exposed but I also realized it’s the exact thing I want to work on in life, through writing, etc. So I polished it, published it, promoted it on my personal social media accounts, and let it sit out there in the world. It ended up propelling a lot of momentum, a title change, and a commitment to trying to live my truth a little bit.

2. Used Substack Notes really unapologetically. I am learning how one uses the notes feature of this app, and I’m testing various ways to utilize it. I don’t understand it, don’t really have anyone that uses it that I follow (or vice versa), and am acutely aware that I am screaming into a void on there. I’m testing trends, sharing posts more broadly with the Substack community. And I’m doing all of that while my notes get absolutely 0 traction. The version of me that does really care about how I’m being perceived would’ve stopped this pretty quickly and decided that notes just aren’t for me. But, I’m trying to keep up with it — at least 3 notes a day — to just get into the practice.

3. Took a selfie video of Nolan & me singing together at music class. I am usually pretty mortified of taking selfies in public in general, but to take a video out in the wild felt especially embarrassing in the moment. But, it was a sweet moment! We were singing a song that he all of a sudden knew the words to (news to me) and I wanted to capture it. Of course as soon as I started recording he stopped singing, but the video helps me hold on to that sweet memory a little bit longer.

   

   here’s a screenshot of the video. Maybe next week I’ll write about the fact that I actually shared the video. Baby steps!

4. I stood up for working moms in a group chat with a bunch of people I don’t know. I write about this in an essay going live on Tuesday, but TL;DR: a group chat I’m in that is supposed to be centered around toddler recipes started digging into chef and cookbook author Molly Baz, and I thought some of it was unfair. Standing up for Molly, and by proxy working moms, felt important. But my commentary was definitely a dissenting opinion that may or may not have landed with the group. It was one of those things that would’ve been much easier to just let go, but I couldn’t let the comment pass without saying anything. You can read about this moment, and some of the reflections it sparked, here when the essay goes live.

   

5. I went to a friendsgiving where I really only knew the host (well) and stayed for a very long time. A friend of mine hosted a friendsgiving last night, and it was a ton of fun. This is a friend from a job I had four years ago, and I knew there’s be maybe 2-4 people from that job there, plus some folks that I’d met a handful of times. I went alone, opting to save money on a sitter and letting Devlin stay home, without verifying who’d be there, trying to coordinate arrival times with the folks I knew, etc. I engaged in conversation and inserted myself into groups of people who seemed to know each other really well. And, I stayed well past when post people left (though there were still people there when I myself left — don’t worry lol). I talked about myself, my kid (in a room where no one else was a parent) and helped someone swipe through their tinder. These types of social situations are hard for me but I really wanted to show up. In the past, I might’ve arrived late and left early, especially knowing that for most of the night, there wouldn’t be anyone else from that job at the party. But I showed up, engaged, and overall enjoyed myself. And I kept my phone in my bag for most of the night (thus the lack of photos, not even a selfie of my ~cute~ outfit).

Looking back, each of these moments made me feel uncomfortable for different reasons, but not one of them are things I’d want to do differently. They all reminded me that stepping out of my comfort zone isn’t the worst thing ever, and that I can recover — and maybe be better because of them.

I’d love to hear from you—did you do anything intentionally cringey this week?