Oh wow I love this! I’ve just written about embarrassment and cringe on my latest post and the conversations had is so encouraging!! I love your version and the fact that you’re going to be committing to cringe every month! 🫶
Thank you Julie for naming something so universal and rarely addressed so directly. The idea of cringe as a protective mechanism rather than a flaw felt especially clarifying. One thought this sparked is how embarrassment often marks the edge of growth — not because something is wrong, but because identity is expanding faster than confidence can keep up.
“It’s really easy to want to live authentically, but harder to act without a guarantee of success or approval.”
The ways our lives would collectively improve if we weren’t worried about other people’s opinions are infinite! The freedom and joy that comes with true exploration and discovery of our deepest selves.
One of the scariest and hardest things to let go of (but know for sure is in my best interest) is to let people form whatever opinion they want about me. Especially since I’ve let myself evolve and change so much lately… It’s simply part of the process. Because without this radical allowance, we can’t grow!
It’s scary anyway, but how exciting to not know what’s on the other side of this experience. I am embracing feeling a little off-kilter, disoriented, unsure in the coming year. This will be good for me.
I could not agree more with all of this. It’s one thing to say “I don’t care what people think,” but to your point way more powerful when you say “people are allowed to form whatever opinion they want about me, and that’s okay (but it’s not my business)”
I know I have spent far too much time thinking and worrying about the opinions of others. I won’t get that time back, but I can control where it goes in the future!
Oh absolutely. As writers, this is an ongoing muscle to be strengthened while also practicing discernment. Frankly, a fine line of respecting other people’s experiences alongside our own truth.
10 Years ago I was officially diagnosed as being Autistic-ADHD and slowly over the following two years I stopped zipping myself into the "Perfectly Normal" full body costume and mask I zipped myself into any time I had to be in the presence of others. I had first put on my "Perfectly Normal" costume when I realised to survive Kindergarten, school and then work I wasn't allowed to be me as I am because it made other uncomfortable. And no child wants to stick out as being "different" because it makes you a target for every imaginable kind of User, Abuser, Loser and Bully. And not all of them are children, sometimes the adults who are meant to protect you turn out to be worse than the little psychopaths in the playground.
Now that I have spent basically 8 years refusing to put my Perfectly Normal costume and mask back on people get the unfiltered, raw, honest and often chaotic me in ever format be it in person, written or spoken. Learning to be 100% authentically imperfect me was harder than I thought it would be and it taught me some interesting lessons along the way. I was surprised at how much of what I thought I liked was actually what others had told me I like and in actual fact I was either ambivalent about it or dislike whatever it was. At one point I felt like I was in the movie The Runaway Bride because I'd spent so long being someone everyone else wanted me to be that I didn't actually know who I was. Unfortunately being imperfect authentically me cost me a lot of relationships with people I thought were me Ride-Or-Die friends because I was no longer the person they wanted me to be.
But being authentically imperfect with zero filter between my brain and my mouth has lifted a mental load I didn't even know I had been carrying. So yes being authentically imperfect in a world full of "Filtered For Perfection" Influencers, slick AI fixed Social Media Posts and the relentless buy now to me perfect 24/7 culture we live in, at first feels cringy and like you're waiting for the slew of comments telling you not to show people you're not perfect. But it does get easier over time and after a while you start to realise that being authentically imperfect frees up your mental space, helps balance your Social Media anxiety and means you can finally take a deep breath and relax because you don't need to spend 15 hours fixing something before posting it.
I love this take, and the fact that you’ve freed yourself from the “Perfectly Normal” costume! It’s a journey, and I’m inspired by yours 🫶
Also, this is profound: “I was surprised at how much of what I thought I liked was actually what others had told me I like and in actual fact I was either ambivalent about it or dislike whatever it was.” I’ve recently realized I’ve not only spent so much time making myself smaller, but molding myself to trends, ideas, pleasures of others.
When I say that "I literally had no idea who I was or what I liked and disliked" it sounds like I belonged to some cult or lived with in an abusive relationship for years. Not that I simply disliked disappointing people or people being angry with me or arguments that I virtually eliminated the word NO from my vocabulary. Honestly learning to so NO was the hardest thing I have ever learnt to do. Learning to so No and give zero explanation and zero fucks about the other person's reaction is an ongoing struggle but it is getting easier as the people I say No to voluntarily exit my life now I'm not behaving like a well trained dog who responds they way they trained me to too their commands.
omg, i am SO in!! I need to cringe it up in 2026!
Yes!! Let’s do it up.
Oh wow I love this! I’ve just written about embarrassment and cringe on my latest post and the conversations had is so encouraging!! I love your version and the fact that you’re going to be committing to cringe every month! 🫶
Thank you Julie for naming something so universal and rarely addressed so directly. The idea of cringe as a protective mechanism rather than a flaw felt especially clarifying. One thought this sparked is how embarrassment often marks the edge of growth — not because something is wrong, but because identity is expanding faster than confidence can keep up.
“It’s really easy to want to live authentically, but harder to act without a guarantee of success or approval.”
Yes! I just made a “to be cringe is to be free” post!! 2026 will be my most cringe year yet
It truly is to be free!!! Happy cringe year to you 🤩
I’m so excited for this, Julie!! ☺️
The ways our lives would collectively improve if we weren’t worried about other people’s opinions are infinite! The freedom and joy that comes with true exploration and discovery of our deepest selves.
One of the scariest and hardest things to let go of (but know for sure is in my best interest) is to let people form whatever opinion they want about me. Especially since I’ve let myself evolve and change so much lately… It’s simply part of the process. Because without this radical allowance, we can’t grow!
It’s scary anyway, but how exciting to not know what’s on the other side of this experience. I am embracing feeling a little off-kilter, disoriented, unsure in the coming year. This will be good for me.
I could not agree more with all of this. It’s one thing to say “I don’t care what people think,” but to your point way more powerful when you say “people are allowed to form whatever opinion they want about me, and that’s okay (but it’s not my business)”
I know I have spent far too much time thinking and worrying about the opinions of others. I won’t get that time back, but I can control where it goes in the future!
Oh absolutely. As writers, this is an ongoing muscle to be strengthened while also practicing discernment. Frankly, a fine line of respecting other people’s experiences alongside our own truth.
10 Years ago I was officially diagnosed as being Autistic-ADHD and slowly over the following two years I stopped zipping myself into the "Perfectly Normal" full body costume and mask I zipped myself into any time I had to be in the presence of others. I had first put on my "Perfectly Normal" costume when I realised to survive Kindergarten, school and then work I wasn't allowed to be me as I am because it made other uncomfortable. And no child wants to stick out as being "different" because it makes you a target for every imaginable kind of User, Abuser, Loser and Bully. And not all of them are children, sometimes the adults who are meant to protect you turn out to be worse than the little psychopaths in the playground.
Now that I have spent basically 8 years refusing to put my Perfectly Normal costume and mask back on people get the unfiltered, raw, honest and often chaotic me in ever format be it in person, written or spoken. Learning to be 100% authentically imperfect me was harder than I thought it would be and it taught me some interesting lessons along the way. I was surprised at how much of what I thought I liked was actually what others had told me I like and in actual fact I was either ambivalent about it or dislike whatever it was. At one point I felt like I was in the movie The Runaway Bride because I'd spent so long being someone everyone else wanted me to be that I didn't actually know who I was. Unfortunately being imperfect authentically me cost me a lot of relationships with people I thought were me Ride-Or-Die friends because I was no longer the person they wanted me to be.
But being authentically imperfect with zero filter between my brain and my mouth has lifted a mental load I didn't even know I had been carrying. So yes being authentically imperfect in a world full of "Filtered For Perfection" Influencers, slick AI fixed Social Media Posts and the relentless buy now to me perfect 24/7 culture we live in, at first feels cringy and like you're waiting for the slew of comments telling you not to show people you're not perfect. But it does get easier over time and after a while you start to realise that being authentically imperfect frees up your mental space, helps balance your Social Media anxiety and means you can finally take a deep breath and relax because you don't need to spend 15 hours fixing something before posting it.
I love this take, and the fact that you’ve freed yourself from the “Perfectly Normal” costume! It’s a journey, and I’m inspired by yours 🫶
Also, this is profound: “I was surprised at how much of what I thought I liked was actually what others had told me I like and in actual fact I was either ambivalent about it or dislike whatever it was.” I’ve recently realized I’ve not only spent so much time making myself smaller, but molding myself to trends, ideas, pleasures of others.
When I say that "I literally had no idea who I was or what I liked and disliked" it sounds like I belonged to some cult or lived with in an abusive relationship for years. Not that I simply disliked disappointing people or people being angry with me or arguments that I virtually eliminated the word NO from my vocabulary. Honestly learning to so NO was the hardest thing I have ever learnt to do. Learning to so No and give zero explanation and zero fucks about the other person's reaction is an ongoing struggle but it is getting easier as the people I say No to voluntarily exit my life now I'm not behaving like a well trained dog who responds they way they trained me to too their commands.
I totally understood what you meant! No cult vibes here 😊