My Ongoing Battle with Screen Time

Detoxing my digital life, rethinking my relationship with Instagram, and reliving my glory days on KidPix and AIM.

I wish the title of this post was “I broke up with Instagram and I am better than everyone because of it!” or “How I reduced my screen time to 2 hours a day!” or “I threw my phone directly into a dumpster and now I navigate topographical maps to figure out where I am going!” but…it’s not.

I am in the middle of Break Free From the Internet’s Digital Detox, so at this exact moment I have actually deleted Instagram from my phone and have reduced my screen time, temporarily, to just a few hours a day but I’m not sure I’ll ever get to a place permanently where I can write a post with those titles. And that’s okay—I don’t actually want to throw my phone in a dumpster, because it is 2025 and our phones do have a place, but I’m on a mission to figure out how to use my phone as a tool, find hobbies outside of my screens, and figure out how to find a little more balance in this area of my life overall.

If I may be extremely self aware for a moment — I am absolutely addicted to technology and the dopamine that surrounds it. Social media is a big part of that, but so are games¹, looking back at old photos, reading the news, refreshing my email inbox, and just other browsing in general. Literally. Just unlocking my phone and checking the weather gives me a little boosty boost. I’m hooked, and have been for as long as I can remember having access to A Technology².

I have memories of being in Kindergarten and running to get to the Macintosh computers³ in the computer lab during computer class⁴. We would play Sim City or mess around with Kid Pix. I loved computer class, and it never seemed to be long enough.

By the time third or fourth grade hit, the Macintosh PCs were replaced with colorful iMacs. We still messed around with Kid Pix but also started to learn to type with Mavis Beacon and got a crash course in Microsoft Office. If you wanted someone to play around with making graphic titles in Microsoft Word or master fifteen different transitions in one PowerPoint presentation, I was absolutely your girl.

I can assure you that at some point in my life, I’ve used every single one of these “fonts” at least once. (Fonts in quotes so I don’t hear it from my husband, who is in fact an actual designer, who will also have something to say about this screenshot itself)

Throughout elementary school, I also remember the thrill of going to someone’s house and being greeted by a Family Computer. Gone were the desires to play dress-up or Candy Land — I wanted to know what computer games they had and get on the internet immediately! There were those Flash Game websites and Ebaums World and Backyard Baseball and a Barbie website where you could dress up the digital Barbies and, of course, Kid Pix.

“Let’s play restaurant,” I’d say. “We can type up a menu”. RIP my friend’s printer ink—to their parents, I’m sorry. I now understand how expensive printer ink is.

In 6th grade, we got our Family Computer. It was a beige Dell, running Windows ME⁵. I created my first email address — glamourgirl and some numbers [at] hotmail.com. Though this was the Family Computer, it sat in MY ROOM. What a luxury. I remember listening to the playlist⁶ that came pre-loaded on the computer itself (for some reason, the only song I remember is ‘Older’ by They Might be Giants) and was mesmerized by the screen savers (specifically the one with the pipes and the one in a brick room maze, gifs below). Really, it didn’t take a whole lot to impress or keep me entertained. Just having my own Family Computer was enough.

From there, came the games, the desire to open up Microsoft Word and ‘design’ flyers, invitations…anything, and, of course, AOL Instant Messenger and the rest of the internet.

I was hooked on AIM. There was something about connecting with all of the people who I’d just spent 8 hours with at school, and also the people I knew from other places, that made me feel euphoric. I would collect screen names, unabashedly asking the 7th and 8th graders for theirs and adding them to my friends list. I was not this outgoing at school, and was a kid who was bullied⁷, but something about AIM allowed me to hide behind a screen, talk to whoever I wanted, and let go of what I now know was kind of crippling social anxiety.

With AIM came Myspace (and a few years later, Facebook), with similar but honestly magnified feelings. Friending anyone I had every crossed paths with and curating this list of friends. I knew they weren’t all my actual friends, but something about seeing those numbers climb that made me feel…important? interesting? Not sure exactly, but I felt something good.

I loved keeping up with people and having them keep up with me. I came of age at a time when a few days at school or a few nights out generated entire Facebook albums where we’d tag all of our friends and look at 17 versions of the same group of people all cramming into a photo. What a world.

As time has gone on since then, these platforms have evolved and changed—there is a lot more passive consumption now with feeds and algorithms; social media barely feels like a place where we keep up with each other any more and instead keep up with…the world.

Looking back, it’s no surprise I got hooked. Technology has always been a place for me to create, connect, and escape. Somewhere along the way, the balance shifted and I stopped being the kid designing menus and practicing typing and became the adult mindlessly scrolling through Instagram Reels for hours on end.

A few months ago, I looked in a proverbial mirror and really examined my digital habits. I realized I was spending entirely too much time online (and, if I am honest, have probably been spending entirely too much time online for a long time). I downloaded BePresent, an app-blocking app, and set a few limits on what I thought were my worst offenders. I blocked most of my apps, except for an essential few, between 10pm-7am and didn’t think much of any of this.

I’ve downloaded similar apps before, with not much change. It’s entirely too easy to say “unlock my apps!” and ignore it altogether, so I didn’t know why this app would be any different.

I set my app limits, set a screen time goal of only 8 hours and initially…very often did NOT meet that screen time goal. Maybe that gives you an idea of just how addicted I was.

What I liked about this app is that I could set limits on specific apps and say things like “I will open Instagram five times a day, for five minutes at a time.” Every time I would go to open Instagram, I was faced with a screen reminding me that I committed to only open the app five times, and this would count as one of them. Just that in-your-face reminder, that “hey this is allowed, but is it worth it,” and having to opt in to opening the app was more powerful than I think I realized.

At first, nothing about this was easy. YES, I want to open Instagram, I would think, and the first few days I would run out of ‘opens’ by 9am. At first I would bypass it, but eventually started sticking to those goals I set.

Slowly but surely, I found myself opening Instagram less and less. I would realize that it would be 9pm and I’d only used one or two of my opens. And then one day, I just didn’t open the app at all.

I realized I didn’t miss it. I was only logging in at that point to respond to DMs and maybe post a carousel or a few stories about what had been happening in life or whatever, but it felt like work. And my desire to continue to engage diminished greatly. This didn’t happen overnight — I’d say it took a solid three months, and happened gradually.

Armed with this, I found aforementioned Digital Detox and immediately felt called to give it a try. The pull was strong and unavoidable and I committed to it before I really knew what I was getting into.

I signed up, announced to Instagram I was engaging in a “social media” detox starting TOMORROW, deleted the app, and went on my merry way, waiting for the first day’s email to hit my inbox with information on how to, once and for all, Break Free from the Internet.

The next day came, and there were a lot of surprises in that first email. A few nice ones — the detox actually started the following week, and the first week was more about evaluating habits and my current relationship with technology through observation, journaling, and reflecting. Great, I thought, I’m already ahead of the curve! I’ll leave Instagram deleted…why not!

Then, I kept reading⁸.

Week one was all about setting the foundation. Check, easy peasy. Week two is all about diving into the ‘real’ detox: “no social media, no gaming, no entertainment, no fluff”.

No entertainment? No fluff? Surely, my ability to watch seven episodes of Chicago P.D. in a row counts as fluff. The Sims probably does, too. But what about my morning Wordle or LinkedIn games? Watching a show while doing the dishes? Catching up on the news? Looking up any little thought that pops into my head, immediately, on Google? Those things can’t count, right?

I was in for a rude awakening when I realized—yes, they do count. I had already announced on social media I was embarking on this, and had paid the $5 subscription fee to participate (worth it). So, I was stuck.

Of course, there is no Internet police knocking on my door to make sure I’m only opening my email on my computer during the designated times I told myself I would and that I really have broken my Wordle streak, but in the interest of doing this intentionally and with integrity, for me, I went all in.

I journaled about my feelings around this. I tried to justify watching Chicago Fire with myself as long as I’m doing it during chores but ultimately decided I can listen to a podcast or listen to music or—gasp—just do one thing at a time for three weeks. I came to terms with losing my Wordle streak and with having to catch up on a few episodes of Severance after the detox.

I decided to keep a list of thoughts that popped into my head and Google them once a week, if they were still even important. I wrote out a list of hobbies and household chores I could potentially fill my time with. I waited, eagerly, for the first day of the rest of my life⁹.

I am now on the 5th day of week two, or Day 12 of the detox overall (if we include the first week). I’ve had a lot of thoughts and a lot of observations. I bought a crossword book and have already been sleeping more than I expected. I’ve been more intentional with seeing and connecting with friends and it’s okay that I missed last night’s Severance because I’m not on the internet to actually have it spoiled. I have been bored.

I’m a NYT Monday girlie, through and through. Maybe I’ll move on to Tuesdays once this is over, or maybe I’ll just be able to finish a whole Monday without looking in the back of the book or asking my husband questions.

I have deleted all extraneous apps from my phone. I only check email on my laptop and allow myself to check Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp a few times a day, so I can keep up with a few group chats (and some Buy Nothing pickups). I have set a few calendar blocks to engage with replies and comments here on Substack but am not scrolling the Notes feed at all. I have a list of books to rent from Libby and read, thanks to this great community (though to be honest, I’ve yet to start one).

My phone is dumb and boring. And I kind of love that. I am still finding myself picking it up aimlessly—the other day, I spent 5 minutes mindlessly looking at…my calendar. I was looking for that dopamine anywhere I could find it, I guess. This is a habit I’m looking to focus on next.

We’ll see what the next few weeks hold—just over two more weeks of ‘detoxing’, followed by a final week of figuring out what I want my relationship with technology to look like. Having an incredibly boring phone has been freeing, but I do think that there’s some balance to be found. I don’t know what that is yet, so stay tuned.

I want to dive deep into being bored, getting more sleep, fighting random pickups, etc., but I also think being so fresh into this process makes it more difficult to properly reflect. So, look out for a part two, sometime over the next few weeks.

I’d love to learn more about all of you and your experiences and thoughts around technology and internet usage. Have you found yourself setting similar boundaries? Have you not had to? I’d love to have you all help shape part two as well—what do you want to see there? What questions do you have, what has piqued your interest, etc?

See you all in my comments here and absolutely not on Notes—at least not for the next few weeks.

1. Before this detox, I had (unfortunately) found myself playing Sims 4 again. I return to the Sims every few years (and have since I was 11), so this detox came at a good time. It’s such a time suck…

2. A Technology: a piece of equipment with access to some sort of digital interface — whether it be the internet, an iTunes library, AIM conversations, a game of solitaire, or yes—even Substack.

3. It was something like this one (not fully sure, but the years check out)

4. In 1996, technology really was synonymous with computers. Thus the repetition of 3x in one sentence.

5

6. This seems like an incredibly niche memory, and it’s hard to find anything about it online but I did find this YouTube playlist that might be what I’m thinking about…

7. Something for another day!

8. To be fair, all of this information is IN the original post, that you read before signing up. I just…didn’t let it register until I had already decided to dive in.

9. fine. it’s just three weeks.