Why you need a 'Virtual Water Cooler Chat' in your life
And a few opportunities to join in!
Six years into remote work, and I can confidently say that I never want to go into an office (at any sort of regular cadence) ever again.
Regardless of where my career takes me, I feel this in my bones to be true. Before the pandemic, I’d only known a world where I went into the office every day and worked 8-to-10 (and in some cases, 12) hour days. I’d relish in the occasional work-from-home moment, dreaming of a life without commutes or ‘hard pants’, where I could properly fuel myself with the food from home. Those were my most productive days, by far, too.
But there’s something to be said about being in an office, amongst others, and for me, it’s being able to hang, chat, and otherwise engage in antics.
TL;DR: I created something called the ‘Virtual Water Cooler’ chat. We meet remotely to settle into the work day (or enjoy a well-deserved lunch). It’s not a place for quiet work (those exist, and they’re great, more below).
This is to reclaim the connection I used to feel in the office and connect with my ‘co-workers,’ other people working remotely who want company while crafting their to-do lists or avoiding sending that overdue Slack message to Peter.
If you’d like to join us, you can sign up here. If you want to learn more about the backstory and what to expect, keep reading.
The Backstory
When the pandemic hit, I leaned into remote work. It took me a while to find my groove (and finally pushed me to get an ADHD diagnosis, which I was able to ignore for the previous three decades), but when I leaned into it, I loved it.
When the job I had during the pandemic opened its offices, I was considered ‘non-essential,’ and so I had the choice whether I wanted to go in or not. I went into the office once. I embarked on the arduous commute to Hudson Yards, enjoyed the comfort of our multi-level flagship office, and spent most of the day in a phone booth, getting work done and joining all my meetings remotely. I met no one I worked with, and otherwise felt alone. It was fun, I enjoyed the free snacks and Diet Cokes (I drank three), but it felt unnecessary.
The job I had after that had a twice-weekly office requirement, with some people only going in once and others going in 4-5 days (freaks1). It was fine, but I didn’t have a child at this point, and a lot of my time was still spent doing heads-down work or in meetings that didn’t benefit from being in person.
But it did remind me of what I did miss about remote work: the culture. My boss would bake scones for the office, we put together a Thanksgiving potluck and holiday ‘white elephant2’, and we’d take turns on the metaphorical aux (connecting to the Bluetooth speaker and playing tunes in the office). It was fun, but the obligation still took a bit of a toll.
I haven’t been in an office in earnest since then. I’ve gone on off-sites, worked from WeWorks in an ad-hoc way, and overall have gotten to know those former coworkers in person in a way that allowed me to optimize the ‘culture’ while maintaining the flexibility of remote work. There’s definitely something nice about getting work done with others in person, but I prefer it to be the exception to the rule, not the norm.
And overall, I do kind of miss the connection (on my own terms, of course). If there were a way to just emulate the culture and antics without the commute, the stress, the schedules, I’d do it.
I love co-working (but I need something else)
I’ve been a big fan of virtual co-working, or body doubling, for a while. For the uninitiated, body doubling is a popular concept that’s particularly helpful for neurodivergent minds, but can benefit anyone who works better amongst others. I, for one, do my best writing at coffee shops, and when I look at why, it’s because I’m surrounded by people and taken away from my usual distractions. Working in front of others is a great motivator and accountability partner.
I’ve been co-working for over a year, when I started joining the co-working sessions put on by Anna Seirian and MJ Mayes when they were running Internet People (RIP, miss you so much <3). I currently co-work with one of the other gals3 I met on those calls, and while the body doubling aspect is the motivator for those calls, I do also love that we get to chit chat before and after our work is done.
Seth Werkheiser of SOCIAL MEDIA ESCAPE CLUB runs his ‘CO-WORK ESCAPE POD’ sessions weekly. I’ve been a few times, and Seth does a great job at giving everyone ten minutes or so to settle in and share what they’ll work on. There’s a mid-session check-in, and one at the end. Again, a few moments to step away, look up, and connect with freaking people.
Co-working has become a mainstay in my weekly schedule, and when I was without it for a few months at the start of the year, I found myself lost and immediately less productive than usual.
There are other options for co-working out there. So why a water cooler? How is that different? Why the need for co-working that’s not co-working?
The Virtual Water Cooler Chat
One morning, while settling into my day and trying to get work done during the 9 o’clock hour, I found myself constantly distracted by Substack (as one does). I fired off a few notes, left a few comments, and noticed my notification bell was more active than usual.
Substack was buzzing, and instead of getting my work done, I just wanted to sit and chat with the fellow Substackers who were also online (the closest thing I have to co-workers these days).
I sent this off, opened up some work, and was immediately pulled away by another notification. A reply from Amanda Jackson of like your life came flooding in, and confirmed what I’d kind of been feeling all morning:
This is my water cooler. I thought to myself.
I quickly replied, “gives me an idea for a ~9a zoom ‘get settled into work and shoot the shit’ call at some point” and left it at that.
But I kept thinking about the idea of getting ready for work, avoiding my email, and chatting with others over coffee as we settled into our days.
Impulsively, I opened Luma and scheduled a WATER COOLER COFFEE CHAT for the next day.
The description read:
It’s time to clock in!
Your work is remote. Maybe you work for yourself, maybe your co-workers are across the globe.
You love remote work. But you miss the office antics: pretending to check emails while catching up with coworkers, grabbing coffee, keeping track of what time Peter actually gets to the office, submerging the new guy’s stapler in jello, standing by the proverbial water cooler (an aside: I’ve never had a water cooler at my office jobs — have you?)
Come join a casual video call where we hang out virtually, drink our coffees (or tea, or Red Bull if you must), and get settled into the day.
Multitask, check your calendar, plan your to-dos, pretend to check your email, or just shoot the sh*t. It’s like co-working, without the pressure to get any work done.
It doesn’t solve for the stapler-in-jello (and similar) pranks or ganging up on Peter for being late, but maybe with how fast AI is moving, we can get there in a few years.
Hope to see you there <3
A note: If you are looking for a quiet space to get your work done, this isn’t the space for that. Unless you want to join and turn the volume down on all of us, and honestly — that’s okay! We’d love to see your face while you work quietly and ignore us, that’s part of the office experience.
Three other people joined, and for an hour I made my to-do list while chatting about whatever we wanted — our plan for the day, whether you can actually be a ‘cat’ or ‘dog’ person (Kareem Rahma — I have a Subway Take about this), interesting people we met and spoke to, and our plans for the long weekend.
When the call ended, I jumped into work refreshed and ready to go. Nothing like shooting the shit for an hour at the water cooler, except this time, I hadn’t come off of an hour-long commute, and I was still in my sweatpants.
I’ve scheduled two more, and I’d love for you to join. You can check out the details on my Luma, which will always be kept up to date.
These calls are free to join and have very few rules. Join when you can, stay as long as you want, and just be ready and open to wherever the morning takes us. I’m also experimenting with time zones, format, and length, so I’d love to hear any and all feedback!
If you go heads down for a moment to send that Slack you’ve been avoiding, no one will bat an eye. If you want to go heads-down the whole time and just miss being around chatty people, that’s fine too.
But I want to be very clear: this is not co-working. It’s not a quiet, focused space where you’re committing to get work done in a specific amount of time; it’s not meant to increase productivity in the moment (though after the fact, you may find yourself more productive).
As I said in the comments of one of Seth Werkheiser’s most recent lives: it’s not co-working because it is not quiet! Cameras on, mics on!
I love co-working and love that I can engage with it weekly, but I started these virtual water cooler chats to solve a different personal problem. And if you think this could solve a problem of yours, I’d love to have you.
JK, I get it! It’s not for me, but I’m not here to yuck your yum.
Gifts were to be under $20, and included a hidden Smirnoff Ice (and so the receiver did in fact get ‘Iced’), pre-rolled joints, and a pair of Airpods via the CEO (who definitely pulled a Michael Scott)
omg the fact that you and emily are still coworking makes my heart shimmer!
heck yes!