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Amanda Jane Lee's avatar

I feel every word of this. And I've had similar feelings about being grateful for unemployment! Am I making the least amount of money I've ever made in my life? Yes. Am I calm and balanced and not full of cortisol for the first time in a long time? Also yes! (The occasional "BUT WHAT ABOUT MONEY?!" meltdown is the exception)

If it helps diagnose / remedy your so-called slump... I realized a lot of my own "slumpy" feelings are because of residual "productivity=worth" conditioning. And there's something about the end of summer that brings on these reflective feelings. Even if I didn't work, I also didn't read all the books I wanted to, or organize my pantry like I wanted to, or complete any other project like I wanted to this summer.

For what it's worth, I think you're doing great!

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Julie Laufer's avatar

"Am I calm and balanced and not full of cortisol for the first time in a long time? Also yes!" Exactly this. I have really forgotten what it's like to not make very much money at all, and realizing I need much less than I think I do...

Also: "I realized a lot of my own "slumpy" feelings are because of residual "productivity = worth" conditioning." -- THIS. this is it. I thing especially amidst unemployment, I lead myself to believe that I now have HOURS AND HOURS of free time, that should all be productive. I try to account for every second, but I don't think that's serving.

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Amanda Jane Lee's avatar

It's A LOT to unlearn. It's really difficult grappling with "all I did today was sit around and watch trash tv" and not feeling like a complete waste of space. I have TIME! I should be cooking and painting and journaling and volunteering and and and

... and we need to give ourselves grace for not ticking off all the "shoulds"

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Violet Carol's avatar

If you still feel slumpy over the next few weeks, just know I will still read your writing regardless of whether it’s posted every week or every third month or once a year 💗

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Elin Strong's avatar

I’m so glad you’re here and that you keep showing up. There’s so much you’re experiencing that resonates with me too! The questioning, THE TIREDNESS…but I’m here to urge you to keep going because what you have to say is important. ❤️

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Christina Le's avatar

I really relate to this. As a parent of three kids at three very different stages of life, I’ve learned there are only so many things I can give my time and energy to. I initially joined Substack because every time I wrote a LinkedIn post, it felt like I was just spilling over the edges with my novel length posts. I figured I could just move those longer thoughts here. But as it often goes, when something you love starts to feel like work… the fun gets sucked out. I think I've always felt that way about social media in general. I get excited about it, but then I feel the pressure to stay consistent. Having to keep showing up in order to grow, and that pressure just turns into more work stacked onto a plate that’s already full. So I’ve stopped beating myself up about needing structure. I just go with vibes.

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Max Pete's avatar

Loved reading every word of this!

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Ashley's avatar

Love to see you writing and processing! You're probably going through some de-programming which is honestly so cool and scary. 9 to 5 being dream life? Wild! Why can't we have 32 hour workweeks? Sometimes our view of the world truly is so narrow (not that we can actually help it) so I'm glad you have the safety of this time to look around a little harder.

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