Let it Go, Let it Be, Let it In: On taking inventory instead of setting resolutions

A mid-January reflection on start of year goals (and all that jazz)

I told myself I wasn’t going to write the ‘New Year's essay’ this year. For some reason, I rejected setting New Year’s resolutions and the idea of an ‘intention’ or a ‘theme’ for this year. It all felt so forced.

If I am being honest, I just wanted to continue and keep going. I didn’t feel this sense of ‘one thing closing and another thing opening’ like I often do at the end of December. It didn’t feel necessary, and everything I tried to do — or write — felt forced.

My routines felt good. My to-do lists were more or less finding their way towards completion (though maybe sometimes more slowly than others). I started training for a March half-marathon in November, which has forced me to be on my A-game when it comes to both moving and fueling my body appropriately. I felt like I had a good balance between work and home life, and it was more or less working. I felt like I could just roll into January as if it were nothing.

Maybe there were areas of my life that could use refining, but I didn’t feel like anything needed a major overhaul. Resolutions just didn’t feel like they’d serve me. If anything, they felt distracting.

But as the end of the year marched closer, I realized I needed something. While I didn’t want a calendar that doesn’t match the reality of our seasons to dictate my goal-setting, I became hyper-aware of the goal-setting and end-of-year reflections happening all around me. The energy became infectious, and I found myself wanting to participate.

I still rejected the idea of setting resolutions, but I decided to first take inventory of what was working and what was not, and go from there.

I realized there were things that were working well that I wanted to keep, things that I wanted to let go of and re-evaluate, and things I thought I could add more of into my life.

For any tech girlies, I guess you could say I ‘stop/start/continue’-ed my New Year’s reflection.

Taking an inventory felt more aligned than having ‘resolutions’ — to be honest, I don’t feel like I have the time or energy to set (or track) proper goals in the traditional sense.

And while I jest about modeling this after the ‘Retros¹’ I’ve sat through for years as a Product Manager, these buckets really did emerge organically. I wasn’t trying to fit the reflection of my personal life into an agile ceremony, it just happened.

I didn’t realize what I’d done until I listed all of this out and started bucketing my own behaviors under three headers: Let it Go, Let it Be, Let it In. Not goals, but also, not not goals.

Taking Inventory

I took inventory of what in my life was going well and what I thought could be better. From there, a natural pattern of things to keep doing, to stop doing, to start doing arose to the surface. Driven by that New Year’s desire to ‘be better’, while also allowing myself to acknowledge the parts of my life I didn’t need to overhaul.

Let It Go

The first section that emerged was all the behaviors and parts of my life that I felt I would be better off without.

These are the things that start to get in the way of the life I want to live, that make my day-to-day harder, and overall feel like they take more than they give.

For me, this looked like letting go of:

• Treating work urgency as a personal emergency

• Staying up late because I feared my ‘free time’ ending

• Justifying to myself how I spend my time…

• …but also excusing myself for not spending time on things that are important to me (like writing) because of ‘busyness.’

• Not naming my feelings publicly (and answering “fine!” when someone asks how I am)

• Worrying too much about what others think, about feeling embarrassed and how my actions are perceived — this one is what led me to launch my ‘Be Cringe’ series

Maybe some of these things worked at one point in my life, but they no longer do.

Let It Be

Arguably the most fun section — the things I am already doing well, that I want to keep doing.

For me, this meant continuing things like:

• Training consistently, even when the runs or lifts aren’t exciting (and even when winter is wintering, and I’d rather lay in bed under blankets and in my favorite sweats)

• Leaving the house every day (and allowing myself to count the short walk to and from daycare)

• Keeping up with basic housework in a way that makes the following days easier

• Feeding myself regularly and adequately (and yes, eating a bunch of protein)

• Writing when I can

These are the things that are the easiest to name because I am already doing them, but can often be hard to give myself credit for.

Let It In

Finally, I recognized the areas of my life that would perhaps improve if I added something new.

For me, this looks like letting things in, like:

• Going to bed when I say I will!

• Making more room for writing

• Organizing my work to-do list in a way that keeps me organized but also reduces the feelings of dread

• Talking more openly about the things I’m already doing (and the things I want to do!) instead of keeping them guarded

• Exploring more writing pitches, more partnerships, and more curiosity in my creative pursuits

• Finding time to read — even if it’s just a few pages a few days a week

I admittedly had to be careful here — this is the part that can really start sounding like resolutions. So, instead of making these rigid commitments or promises, I treated them like areas to explore.

Bringing it all together

With my inventory and three themes, I did some journaling and self-reflection. I made a little vision board on Pinterest and set it as the background on my iPad.

Grateful to the bug a few weeks back that led my Substack to be labeled a ‘best seller’ — I had just enough time to screenshot that and add it to my vision board (for when it actually happens, of course).

I also did a tarot spread to support this, with each card position representing one of those themes. If that’s your thing, I invite you to do the same!

I set it aside and was ready to keep moving after my brief pause to reflect. I figured things wouldn’t change too much, but I was grateful to have taken the time to take this inventory.

I had no idea what would be waiting for me in January.

Because when January started, and I went back to work, I felt my world crashing down all around me.